Coffee & Poop: Thanks SEO

I recently took a digital marketing class through eCornell and started learning about SEO: search engine optimization. I had heard the term but through this coursework and some added research I feel like I have a greater grasp of what it is and how it’s used.

In my learning and research, I was directed to Answer the Public to generate quality questions and ideas that not only provide inspiration for posts, but also help me find the right words to promote readership.

Nevermind the technical aspects or purpose or application of new learning. What I discovered was that the keyword “coffee” often leads to, or is connected to, the word “poop.”

I typed “coffee”, 197 questions were generated, the following stood out:

  • Are coffee enemas dangerous?
  • Are coffee enemas safe?
  • Can coffee cause constipation?
  • Will coffee constipate you?
  • Will coffee cause constipation?
  • Will coffee make you poop?
  • Which coffee makes you poop?
  • Why coffee makes me poop?
  • Why coffee enema?
  • Why coffee makes you poop?

That’s 10 poop-related questions. 10 direct references to coffee and bowel movements.

And what-the-hell is a “coffee enema”? Well, I didn’t know, and of course I had to look it up, and now I’m terribly frightened and grossed-out.

My reflections, conclusions, on coffee and a SEO keyword search:

  • Coffee belongs in your mouth. That’s it. I don’t want to hear anymore on this topic.
  • All food and drink consumed will be expelled, that includes coffee. However, it appears coffee and poop are quite closely related and associated with one another. Who knew?
  • Despite it’s clear connection–this will be my only bowel, poop, #2, constipation, etc. related post.

. . . and there you go–thanks SEO, you’re frightening.


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